Today was quite wonderful: I went tree climbing! The weather has been getting warmer, the sun is coming out, and I just want to be outside. Today was warm, though the sun hid later on in the afternoon and the wind came out. But I had a marvelous experience in a tree.
This morning was a harder one for me. I was in one of those lackluster moods, not really feeling motivated to do anything. And even though some days are harder than others, and some days I get started much later than others, I've determined myself to push through and keep my routine. And I did try.
But after reading my scriptures I felt a bit better, but I just couldn't find in my heart to really push through and study. I felt very listless, and non-directional. I get like that at times and have to find some way to crawl out of it. Or sometimes I just feed it because I feel like I can't get out, that I'm trapped. Today I was going to feed it. Focus on myself and my woes (which I generally have to make up, or exaggerate) and play the lonely romantic. I turned to poetry. As I scanned through the titles in one of my books one jumped out at me. "I Wandered Lonely as a Cloud" by William Wordsworth. That was just thing! It sounded depressing and was about being alone. That was me! And then I read it:
I wandered lonely as a cloud
That floats on high o'er vales and hills,
When all at once I saw a crowd,
A host, of golden daffodils;
Beside the lake beneath the trees,
Fluttering and dancing in the breeze.
Continuous as the stars that shine
And twinkle on the milky way,
They stretched in never-ending line
Along the margin of a bay:
Ten thousand saw I at a glance,
Tossing their heads in sprightly dance.
The waves beside them danced; but they
Out-did the sparkling waves in glee:
A poet could not but be gay,
In such a jocund company:
I gazed--and gazed--but little thought
What wealth the show to me had brought:
For oft, when on my couch I lie
In vacant or in pensive mood,
They flash upon that inward eye
And then my heart with pleasure fills,
And dances with the daffodils.
I read that and it wasn't at all what I wanted or what I was looking for, but it was what I needed. I was in a vacant mood that was not very happy at all and the author can get out of those moods by remembering that beauty of the daffodils. I couldn't think of anything to remember.... so I went outside. I found a wonderful tree and climbed as far up as I could go. What a beautiful world. I sat up in the tree reflecting on this poem and the beauty that God has given us.
Sometimes it's so easy to forget that I am one of God's creations, let alone that I'm a daughter of God. But as I sat in that tree the wind began to blow and I opened my eyes to the fact that God created this beautiful world. As the wind gently rocked me in the branches I grew closer to the knowlage of who I am. It was a process, sitting up in the tree, connecting the dots. But I am so thankful for that poem that inspired me to do so that I could cast of my vacant state and be filled with the light of Christ.
