Oh, thou fabulous potato!
How oft have we thought to eat thee?
But every time we tried it was no go,
For thou wert one and we were three.
We kept thee until thou sprouted
And thou no longer seemed tasty,
But Kaylie, undoubted,
Thought the garage for thee wouldst be hasty.
It was she, Kaylie, she that gave thee thy fair face!
Thine eyes of small beadiness, thy tender nose,
And beautiful lips to give thee grace;
And arms in lovely pose.
We dubbed thee Tater, love to thee we gave!
You were our friend, ally, apartment pet;
But that and our love could not save
For finally thy fate thou hast met.
Oh brother potato, thou art gone!
Thou art now buried in that plastic grave,
Filled in with candy wrappers, old food, and so on
With all other things that we could not save.
Farewell, sweet Tater;
May you rest in peace,
And may we see you later
When one day we, too, cease.
